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Your soulmate is a reflection of your ownself.”
That’s what I read somewhere. But I have an expert opinion about it from this book ‘A Primer of Freudian Psychology‘ by Calvin S.Hall (I‘m currently taking this course ‘literary critism’, have a chance to learn about Sigmund Freud theory, psychoanalysis, I’m so eager to learn about it further). In one of chapter about Freud theory, The Development of Personality, there is this one mentioned method in overcoming frustration, Identification being one of them (along with displacement, sublimation, defense mechanism, and the transformation of instics, I’m not going to go into detail, enough to have them spinning around in my mind and haunting me in my dream), it is further devided into 4 types; 1) narcissistic, 2) goal-oriented, 3) object-loss, 4) with an agressor. The one related to the quote abovd is the first one, narcisstic identification, but it is not to be confused with object-choice because for the latter the person hasn’t yet got the object of wanting, while for the narcisstic identification, the person already has the object he wants, here is the point;

  • If the factor of narcissism is very strong, a person may derive satisfaction only from choosing a love object who resembles him. This is one reason why a person may choose homosexuality in preference to heterosexuality, or why a man may marry a masculine woman or a woman marry a feminine man. One loves the reflected image of himself as Narcissus did (eventhough, It is quite possible that all object-choices are influenced to some degree by narcissism. Two people, for example, will usually not fall in love unless they resemble one another in some way.

That explain, partially, my fetishism over certain characteristics I’d like to have in my future guy; the person of the same simplicity, really I’m just that simple a person, to the point of having only one small bag with me in a week stay abroad :’) (don’t ask me further about it okay, this got the hostel keeper question, ‘Are you serious only bring this small bag with you.‘ to his curiosity I casted him a solid ‘yes‘, and he then complimented, “Okay, I like your style already” ^^, people will mostly think I’m out of my head while I just want to keep and have it simple. The rest is not to be revealed, let me and only God knows what I long and crave the most in a guy. I have him a name in my mind. 🙂


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