Dear Future Lover Of Mine, I Hope I Don’t Meet You Anytime Soon

Dear You,
I don’t know your name. I don’t know who you are or where you are or when we will ever meet. I don’t know whether or not you are already in my life somewhere. I don’t even know if you exist in this lifetime. I’d like to believe you’re walking this earth someplace, but sometimes I’m not sure if I even believe in the idea of fate and romance anymore. Maybe you can save me from myself.


If you are in this lifetime and on this planet though, I hope I don’t meet you anytime soon. I have a lot to learn and I will probably hurt you, because I don’t know yet that you are the one who will make me happy.

I’ve been through a lot. But while I wish you could have been there with me, I know you will be proud of me because of how strong I turned out to be and all the things I made it through without you
. See, I had to be alone for a while so I’d know what I’m capable of. And so I’d appreciate having someone like you more.


I like being single right now because all my time is mine. I need to be single for a while so I will not regret not having this kind of freedom in the future
. When I’m yours, I’ll be completely yours because I had this time to be mine.
But sometimes I miss being in love. There are days when I wish you can get here faster just so I can have the kind of love that I’ve been waiting for since what feels like forever. But I guess it’s better that you’re not here yet because I don’t know how to be with you right now.

I’ll probably say a lot of really stupid things and scare you away.
You won’t just the love of my life, you will also be my best friend in the world. I’d always thought of all my old loves as best friends at the time, but I don’t think I ever really knew what that meant. I love that I will be able to tell you anything and everything and know that you will be the one person in the world who understands.
We won’t always get along and we will more-than-possibly get into some really ugly fights, but I know that in the end, we can make it through because nothing is more important than learning and growing together.

We are probably different people with diverse interests, and that’s a good thing. We will make time for what is important to the other because we like making each other happy. Of course, there will be things that we enjoy doing together. We will spend some days curled up with a blanket and books or popcorn and a good movie. Braveheart will always be a favorite between us, and reruns of FRIENDS will take up some of our lazy Sundays. But we will spend most of our time going around the world together, seeing places we’ve only once dreamed of traveling to.

We both love to talk and laugh, and we will spend a lot of our time getting to know each other. Even when we’ve been together 20 years, we will always find something new about the other or reminisce about the people we once had to be to get there. And while I will probably roll my eyes at your jokes, I will also smile just because it’s so cute how you tried to tell the punch line.

You’ve probably loved a girl (or more) before me, and that’s okay. I’m sorry though if you’ve gotten hurt and I wasn’t there to make you feel better
. I’ve been in love before you, too, and I’ve also gotten my heart broken and feel like nobody could really understand. It will take a long time before I can let anyone else in again, and maybe you feel the same way.

It will be better to find each other after going through all that, just so we will both know how to not take being in love for granted.
We’ve both become better people separately, something I will always be thankful for. And because of all the pain we have to go through before we meet, we will both realize then that we deserve that happiness and we deserve each other.

I don’t know what you look like but I know you have kind eyes and a genuine smile. I don’t know what you do for a living but I know that you will have time for me. I don’t know you, but I know that you can give me hug when I’m down, hold my hand for no reason and kiss me just because you love me.

There’s a possibility though, that you don’t exist, and I’m writing this letter for no one. But in spite of all the cynicism I’m entitled to, I have to believe that you’re out there soewhere. I have to believe that all the heartache I’d ever had to endure will someday lead me to you. I have to believe that God created you because He knew I would need you. And while I know I’m a complete person on my own, I have to believe that someone like you exists, someone who might not complete me, but can make life better. More beautiful. More colorful. A man who can make me believe in love again.
I don’t know who you are or if I’ll ever find you, but I wish with all my heart that you’re out there, waiting, just like I am.
I know that someday I will find you. In this lifetime, or the next, I will find you.
Yours (someday),
Me

Source: thoughtcatalog.com/katrina-tamondong/2014/02/dear-future-lover-of-mine-i-hope-i-dont-meet-you-anytime-soon/
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Whoever you are, I hope you read this. Just because I have a lot to learn and not yet ready to be anyone’s anything –told you age is just a number, I’m mentally stop growing up, and it has been constantly 17th since then. I need to feed up my passionate curiosity as I know a lot of things that I haven’t yet to learn. At least, I’m sure enough you are as well walking your path in becoming your ultimate self, right? My dear future lover :). Don’t mind the waiting! If you are destined for me, the universe will conspire (I beg you to conspire universe, conspire!). For the time being, I’ll let my steady curiosity towards you be my guide. Yes, I hope I don’t meet you anytime soon (not until I graduated, it will be too long, way too long still, I know. What should I do? Let me cry). This is entitled to no one but to my very dear future lover 🙂 (The warmest, the kindest, the charming, the brainy one still. Dearest God Good, save the best for me, sorry for asking you too much, I only need one). 

Memahat Lekuk Tubuh sebagai Ekspresi Performativitas Gender Feminine pada Perempuan

Berbeda dari konsep hukuman yang tidak menekankan pada aspek kemanusiaan melainkan untuk mempertegas otoritas yang berdampak pada ketakutan dan rasa bersalah, pendisiplinan pada perbaikan dan keamanan. Proses pendisplinan dilakukan dengan beragam teknik untuk mengontrol operasi tubuh melalui pemaksaan (coercion) dan pengaturan gerakan tubuh dalam ruang dan waktu dengan mekanisme jadwal yang ketat, latihan ala militer dan olahraga. Elemen pendisiplinan meliputi pengawasan (observation), penilaian (judgement), pengujian (examination). Dalam poster WRP diatas, gagasan pendisplinan ditunjukan dengan penempatan manekin yang menjadi representasi ‘pahatan’ tubuh sempurna dan seorang perempuan bergaun merah sebagai prototipe dari proses pendisplinan yang berhasil; dengan lekukan tubuh yang menyerupai manekin disampingnya. Hal tersebut mengindikasikan kepatuhan model tersebut dengan melakukan proses pendisplinan hingga membentuk tubuhnya menyerupai standar pahatan tubuh yang sempurna seperti manekin; pinggul ramping, pinggang besar, kaki kurus dan jenjang serta perut yang rata.

Konsep tubuh yang patuh dibahas oleh Focault dalam karyanya ‘Discipline and Punishment’, berawal pada abad ke-17 yang waktu itu berpandangan bahwa tubuh sebagai kekuasaan. Proses memahat tubuh hingga memeliki lekuk yang detail seperti model manekin menunjukkan kepauhan tubuh untuk dibentuk, digunakan, diubah dan disempurnakan dengan modalitas pemaksaan terus-menerus tanpa pernah berhenti (constant coercien without interruption) untuk mendapatkan hasil menyerupai standart estiteka tubuh ideal seperti manekin. Terdapat intensi untuk menegaskan konstruksi “feminine” dengan standart kepatuhan yang seragam dengan penggunaan gambar diatas. Menyitir pendapat Butler (1990: 174) bahwa persoalan gender hanya semata persoalan performativitas, proses imitasi dan pengulangan yang tidak pernah berhenti; dengan kata lain melalui persistensi proses pendisplinan hingga terbentuk konsepsi ideal tentang “feminine” dan “maskuline”; untuk tidak disamakan dengan “male” dan “female” yang merupakan jenis kelamin secara biologis. Butler (1990: 136) menggambarkan bagaimana realness atau kebenaran tentang gender dan seksualitas diproduksi dan direproduksi melalui serangkaian tindakan, gestur dan hasrat yang mengimplikasikan identitas gender paling essensial. Waria, obyek yang dikaji oleh Butler, harus melakukan serangkaian pratik dan prosedural tertentu untuk memperoleh bentuk yang diidealkan di mana gesture dan penampilan mereka dianggap feminin. Praktik ini bagi mereka, menurut Butler, tidak sekadar menirukan femininitas perempuan.

Lebih jauh, mereka juga menunjukkan bahwa femininitas adalah sebuah praktik peniruan, baik itu ketika dilakukan oleh waria maupun perempuan. Singkatnya, penentu the effect of realness adalah kemampuan untuk menghasilkan naturalised effect (Butler, 1993: 129). Dengan demikian, performativitas gender merupakan sebuah konstruksi sosial dari naturalised effect yang terkonsep melalui proses yang panjang hingga dititik persetujuan akan konstruksi biner yang diusung kedua sifat yang saling polar tersebut saat ini. Konstruksi biner ini menghasilkan produk karakter yang melekat pada masing-masing kategori, “masculine” memiliki sifat keras, tabiat untuk berburu, aggresive dan melindungi, dan “feminine” memiliki sifat halus, tabiat untuk merawat, submissive dan lemah-lembut. Tidak hanya produk karakter yang melekat namun keseragaman karakter fisik bagi masing-masing kategori, “masculine” memiliki tubuh atletis, berotot dan berambut pendek yang mewakili karakter melindungi sedangkan “feminine” memiliki tubuh ramping dan berlekuk (pinggang ramping atau kecil, pinggul lebar, kaki kurus dan jenjang, tangan yang kecil serta perut yang rata) dan berambut panjang secara berangsur-angsur membentuk evolusi konstruksi budaya patriarkal. Konsep iklan WRP tersebut mencoba menguatkan ekspresi performativitas gender feminine dengan karekter fisik “feminine” yang ideal dapat diperoleh dengan mengkonsumsi produk tersebut.  Pendisplinan pada tubuh untuk mencapai sebuah standar ‘pahatan’ yang sempurna untuk menguatkan impresi ‘feminine’ yang linier dengan lekukan tubuh yang detail merupakan bentuk estetisasi tubuh; tubuh dipatuhkan untuk sebuah tujuan estetik atau keindahan.

Ekspresi perfomativitas gender yang mengarah ke karaker fisik ‘feminine’ lantas memunculkan keseragaman bagi tubuh untuk dapat memenuhi standart estetik. Dalam gambar tersebut, pendisiplinan tubuh dilakukan untuk mencapai standart estetika tubuh yang menyerupai manekin; bentuk tubuh seperti itulah yang dianggap estetis atau indah dan perempuan berbaju merah sebagai produk pematuhan tubuh yang berhasil dengan mengkonsumsi produk yang dipromosikan dengan memiliki lekukan tubuh yang terpahat menyerupai manekin. Standart estitetika tubuh seperti barbie tersebut menjadi pemakluman bawah sadar yang disepakati sebagai ekspresi permormativitas gender feminine pada perempuan. Modalitas ekspresi performativitas gender feminine dengan pendisplinan tubuh untuk mencapai standart estetika tertentu dengan mengkonsumsi produk yang diiklankan agar mampu mempersuasi khalayak tidak terlepas dari penggunaan kata-kata yang seringkali tidak literal atau berupa metaphor. Lakoff dalam karyanya Methapors We Live By mendefinisikan metaphor sebagai pemetaan lintas-domain dalam sistem konseptual. Asumsi lama yang keliru tentang penggunaan bahasa seringkali masih banyak yang beranggapan bahwa semua bahasa sehari-hari yang konvensional adalah harfiah dan tidak metaforik sehingga masih banyak yang beranggapan subjek ujaran dapat dipahami secara harfiah tanpa metaphor. Hal ini juga berlaku dalam definisi leksikon bahwa makna dan konsep yang dipakai dalam tatabahasanya yang ada di kamus adalah harfiah, bukan metoforik. Tekstualisasi tubuh menjadi salah satu modalitas penting untuk menguatkan impresi performativitas gender feminine selain aspek visual. “Pahat Setiap Lekuk Indahmu” merupakan bentuk tekstualisasi tubuh dengan menggunakan metaphor yang terbentuk melalui serangkaian konseptual blending yang memfriksikan domain mental yang berbeda membending sebuah konsep yang baru namun dapat dipahami, dalam hal ini metaphor yang  digunakan konsep perubahan yang progressif atau bergerak dengan memahat setiap lekuk tubuh untuk menghasilkan standar tubuh yang estetis.

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P.S. The only satisfying thing this semester because I got 90 for it (for ‘Tubuh and Budaya’ course). The rest make me sigh a deep breath at least now I know my self better. 

Date a Girl Who Writes

Date a girl who writes. Date a girl who understands both the simplicity and the depth of the written word. Date a girl who lists one of her heroes as a philosopher or poet. Date a girl who writes because she is a born storyteller.

You’ll learn that the only way she knows what she’s thinking or feeling is through writing. She’ll be articulate and poetic, without the slightest ego.

The girl who writes will have a collection of lists at any given time, not only to-do lists, but life lists; a bucket list, a list of her favorite things, a list of quotes that inspire her.

As a writer she will be a natural listener. So tell her stories. You will begin to recognize what’s important to her or what she wonders about through her writing. She finds writing the only way to explore some of life’s greatest mysteries. So talk to her about your thoughts and ideas. She will revel in them.

With this, she will love to read. She is inspired, enlightened and learned by literature. Read her book suggestions and talk about them with her. She feels satisfied and connected when someone enjoys the same literature as her. Read together.

Date the girl whose voice is so moving that you can hear it in her written words. Spend quality time with her to the point where you almost, but not fully, understand her love for words. She will explain it to you: “I love the twist and tangle of words as they enflame human emotions.” Respect her passion. She will write for a living because she will not know how to make a living sans writing. She believes in passion and when she discovers it within you, she will forever believe in you.

The girl who writes will possess a perspective all her own. As a writer she continually explores her own mind, heart and soul—because of this she is self-aware and introspective. She will have spent time and need more time spent in other worlds—metaphorically and physically. Take her on adventures. Her writing will speak to universal truths…show her the world.

Date a girl who writes because the infinite abilities of her vast mind will astonish you day after day. The way she thinks about the world—as if a short trip to the grocery store has the potential to hold as much meaning as a backpacking trip across Asia—is unparalleled. Learn from her. Realize that the simplest tasks—and words—can, and often do, hold the deepest meaning.

By dating a girl who writes you will discover that there are no goodbyes. She will write about you and she will write to you. Her handwritten letters will captivate you and scare you all in one breath. Be happy that she knows how to tell you what she’s feeling and thinking with precision and grace—that is a luxury in most relationships.

Don’t get frustrated with her when she desires to write about everything that happens between you two—it relaxes her. You may feel like you’re losing her to her writing but you must understand that she writes what she knows, encased in imagination. So be thankful when you identify with a character she has created. You are the chief inspiration in her life—and she will always be drawn back to you. She is independent in her mind yet recognizes the necessity and beauty of experience and relationships.

Date a girl who writes because she understands and appreciates her own worth so fully that she can confidently write about why you should date her.

When you are ready, propose to her in a way that challenges her writing. Give her a moment to write about that can only be shown, rather than told, through words. Let her know how you feel in the best arrangement of words you can conjure up. She will be thrilled by your valiant efforts to connect with her.

For your wedding, the girl who writes will carefully craft her own vows. They will leave you speechless—managing to capsulate your time together thus far into a tightly woven tale of two strangers becoming one.

Marry the girl who writes because she understands that one doesn’t succeed at writing—it is a continual, ever-evolving, growing craft of experience and practice…just like your marriage. And when you’re ready to have children, they will benefit from her gift of writing. They will be well educated (if not for good genes) on the proper usage of grammar and literary devices.

Marry a girl who writes and she’ll teach your children the value of words—the most powerful weapon used by mankind. She will instill in them the same passion that she was born with and that you have come to know as second nature…because with the combined passions of your family, you have the power to change the world.

Before she speaks, her mind inscribes her thoughts into words—lying in the empty space between her eyes and the atmosphere. So know that if you argue—which you will—she’ll be able to keep things sensible, calm and mature. She will read her own works so many times that she will look to you for reassurance of sanity. Reassure her.

The girl who writes knows that the power of the written word can transcend time and space. This is why she will keep a journal of your lives together. And when you are old and gray she will present it to your grandchildren as a way to inspire, encourage and challenge them to live a life so spectacular that it, too, must be documented.

Find a girl who writes because you deserve someone who will motivate you and humble you each and every day. You deserve to learn from the teachings of your own great writer that eloquent words are essential to human life. If her mind bursts into flames with an idea at 3 a.m. on a Saturday morning, let her write…because chances are, you lit the spark. And for her, the only thing that will be better than writing about the love you share is living the love you share.

Original source :

http://thoughtcatalog.com/tanza-loudenback/2013/10/date-a-girl-who-writes/

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Dear future husband, we will both lucky for having each other. Me for having the guy with the most beautiful heart and you for having me by yourside. Bear with me! ^^