Seat of emotions

As much as I like someone right now, I cant help but take a step backward. Like really I’m a mess. A total mess right now. So many things I need to fix before I can convince myself that I’m ready to be anyone’s anything. And as much as I want that one settle guy to be my real one along the way, again, I can’t help but think. Is it even possible to wish for it? Is there really that one guy I can rely on? Can I trust him? How can I know he’s sincere? What if I’m getting dumped?

Put aside the fact that you have everything. Like all the-guy-i-want-to-marry materials. But still, too much ‘what if’ because I barely know you.  I can’t only use my feeling and overlook the wisdom of my brain. Not to mention there are these things that keep echoing, demand me to unveil them from a box full of dreams.

Hey you Mr.Right! If it’s really you that I’m seeking for. Please hold on! Let me wander my wonder for awhile. Stay put there in mind! I need you to be there, watching me navigating and roaming for the sake of my very own belief. I’ll definitely comeback to find you again. Only if it’s really you. Let God unfolds the package in the right time. I know His timing is never falling wide of the mark.

Time flies. Keep still. Stay put there. The Flame. The Spark. I don’t to mind my shadow to be only best companion, for the time being, guess someone is right, at the end of the day, we will end up alone. I’m not complaining, the given time is hopefully well spent. And about romance, God knows, He prepares the best, for I sure believe. 

All I Have Do To Is Dream

When I want you in my arms

When I want you and all your charms

Whenever I want you

All I have to do is dream


Ever since that day, the moment she looked at his back the last time
Time rendered in seemingly odd way, in an elusive possible way

She tried to shift but would always drawn back

It feels like yesterday still, the last time we listened to the music together,

 the time we strolled the night. But will we ever meet again?”

Her heart knew full well what it wanted and she wanted him

And whenever I feel blue, the thought of you heals.”


I need you so, that I could die

I love you so and that is why

Whenever I want you

All I have to do is dream

The Importance of Having Clarity of Purposes

My eyes accidentally bumped into this quote this morning, “Talent is cheap, dedication what takes you your life: and is expensive.”. As I once wrote here, what’s most important for those aspiring writers according to Haruki, talent is the most essential it is, because it is a fuel, what makes the engine works, but the last point endurance, what takes one a dedication to the chosen field. I once attended ‘Supermentor‘ an event rendered by Dino Patti Jalal back in 2014, only I forgot which speaker said the sentence, there three of them (if my memory has it well reserved): Mr.Dino Patti Djalal, Mr. Johannes Suryo, and Mr. Ignatius Jonan. One of them said, what is lacking in Indonesia, beside its enormous amount of genius minds is the lack of dedication in the chosen fields: dedicated soul, let’s say, because it is what most of fresh graduates expected right after they graduated from university: to get a decent paid job, even when it doesn’t coincide with their study in the university, it is as simple a reason –to have it mostly if not, partially, or majority voices–: pragmatism. I don’t want to talk further about it, even when I want to, what I want to hightlight here is, the important of having clarity of purposes, thus knowing thyself becomes an important issue, to know your purposes, you need to know yourself, what triggers you to get up each day, what sparks the soul and gets you going no matter how heavy a storm out there that tries to stumble your walking the taken road (in a short a term it spells: passion), if you have it or them purposes clearly set in mind, you know why you are living and breathing, this is what Kimanzi Constable said, not just merely ‘existing‘ as in the existence of one physical form, but the purest essence of living as a purposeful being. This term in Javanesse, called ‘sangkan-paran‘, you know what sets you on fire and hard-headed to keep on carring on,I really like those coined term, one story that represents the phrase in Javanese is the story of Dewi Ruci, it is Bima’s persistency and firmness in his purposes to get ‘holy water’ in order to save the rest of his siblings from Kurawa, what leads him to enlightment at last. What is being said by Irving, by Haruki –in term of endurence, the speaker, and what Bima did are all basically rooted in one word: dedication. Let’s have it a word a truism, dedication what creates innovation, new inventions by wholeheartedly dedicated scientists, existing masterpieces by the greatest artists of the walking or say certain period of time, what creates the great thinkers of all time or philosophers, but it is only a mere word without further walking into the word. More dedication souls to come, hopefully in Indonesia, in the future.