The Diary of a Late Bloomer (34)

Grew up in a small town 

And when the rain would fall down 

I’d just stare out my window 

Dreaming of what could be 

And if I’d end up happy
—-

Breakaway, so stay!

She had then no better option than triving, striving and winning; the given game of life. She had enough of sorrow but not to make it an excuse to make a stop; yet another reminder to humbling outright even already in self-sufficent. Much as it tired her out the walking, much as it is somehow hazy still the future view, she keeps firm the tomorrow’s mysteries as a given divine gift. As cauticiously she made traces in leaving the seconds of the wholeness of time, for yet a breakaway, yet an invention of undiscovered side. She tried her best to revel in the most terrifiying thunderbolt. She used then of the worst to expect the least, but worth still even only a small leap. She denied not of feeling misplaced but the best she dealth with it. Would she ever touch the sky?all she knew, future would not betray present effort, so stay! 

—-

Wanted to belong here 

But something felt so wrong here 

So I prayed I could break away

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Walking Excitement 2


When she was 22 the future looked nobright, she is nearly 30 now and she is out everynight. The lines best describe my life that past 2 months. Life has its own ways to test us, every of us, for I sure believe, struggling and walking their own path. So do I. To think that I’m coming out safe and sound up to this point is such a blessing. The more the steps move forth and time followings tither, the more grateful I am to be able to read my favorite books, to eat my favorite foods, to listen to my favorite songs, and the first and foremost to continue on walking the dream; of studying in English Literature. I come out stronger than my previous self, I prove to no one but to my old self, that I’m capable of standing on my own feet. 

What society (by ‘society’, I mean,here in my country) expects from a 26 years old girl is to get married (don’t get me wrong, I want to get married and have babies, but he is still hiding himself and busy with his own life, chasing his dream) or at at least already get a decent paid job. For the latter, I can’t get anymore grateful, last July, I tried to apply for a job, what interested me at that time was because the job was related to my area of expertise, a content writer, and it was about mom and baby, in a startup company ‘Smilemelody.Inc’ (I find the name of the company sounds beautiful), they run an application ‘MiMi’ (Pregnancy, Period and Ovulation Calendar, Cycle Tracker). There came my first ‘real job’ interview and at last got my first full time job. I’m so grateful for what I have learnt there, my CEO (he is a Chinesse), he tought us so many things, from how to properly working in a professional environment (which is I’m or say, we are all, totally new to this) to teach us new skills (how to mind-mapping and lay-outing). Let’s not talk about salary, because it is way beyond my expected salary (I used it to pay for my collage tuition fee though), but because I’m still a collage student, I’m no longer working full time but part time at the company, that doesn’t require me to go to the office (thank God, I don’t have to experience a morning craziness and back to my dormitory dead tired anymore, it will do harm to my physical health in a long run, especially because I’m still studying, so my CEO with the help of the Human Resource shifted my position to PT). 

From then on, I learn valuable lessons, when you feel downright hopeless about how your life will be going on, there will be a light if we believe it. God will never leave us miserable without his helping us in time of dire need of the helping hands. It happens to me, up to this moment, when I felt hopeless and helpless, I tried to challange my limit, and there was a light. I don’t know about the future, but I’m doing my best for my dreams, to make them real, no matter how petty they are for others, but means the world for us, we have this inner strength, inner perseverence to push us forward and carry on. Let’s keep on walking proud the path, self! 

It’s sad but it’s true how society says

Her life is already over

There’s nothing to do and there’s nothing to say


The Importance of Having Clarity of Purposes

My eyes accidentally bumped into this quote this morning, “Talent is cheap, dedication what takes you your life: and is expensive.”. As I once wrote here, what’s most important for those aspiring writers according to Haruki, talent is the most essential it is, because it is a fuel, what makes the engine works, but the last point endurance, what takes one a dedication to the chosen field. I once attended ‘Supermentor‘ an event rendered by Dino Patti Jalal back in 2014, only I forgot which speaker said the sentence, there three of them (if my memory has it well reserved): Mr.Dino Patti Djalal, Mr. Johannes Suryo, and Mr. Ignatius Jonan. One of them said, what is lacking in Indonesia, beside its enormous amount of genius minds is the lack of dedication in the chosen fields: dedicated soul, let’s say, because it is what most of fresh graduates expected right after they graduated from university: to get a decent paid job, even when it doesn’t coincide with their study in the university, it is as simple a reason –to have it mostly if not, partially, or majority voices–: pragmatism. I don’t want to talk further about it, even when I want to, what I want to hightlight here is, the important of having clarity of purposes, thus knowing thyself becomes an important issue, to know your purposes, you need to know yourself, what triggers you to get up each day, what sparks the soul and gets you going no matter how heavy a storm out there that tries to stumble your walking the taken road (in a short a term it spells: passion), if you have it or them purposes clearly set in mind, you know why you are living and breathing, this is what Kimanzi Constable said, not just merely ‘existing‘ as in the existence of one physical form, but the purest essence of living as a purposeful being. This term in Javanesse, called ‘sangkan-paran‘, you know what sets you on fire and hard-headed to keep on carring on,I really like those coined term, one story that represents the phrase in Javanese is the story of Dewi Ruci, it is Bima’s persistency and firmness in his purposes to get ‘holy water’ in order to save the rest of his siblings from Kurawa, what leads him to enlightment at last. What is being said by Irving, by Haruki –in term of endurence, the speaker, and what Bima did are all basically rooted in one word: dedication. Let’s have it a word a truism, dedication what creates innovation, new inventions by wholeheartedly dedicated scientists, existing masterpieces by the greatest artists of the walking or say certain period of time, what creates the great thinkers of all time or philosophers, but it is only a mere word without further walking into the word. More dedication souls to come, hopefully in Indonesia, in the future.